The Scare Salon

Directed by Richard Oakes from a story by Oakes and Adam Leader, Hosts bears a superficial resemblance to another British Christmas horror, 2018’s Await Further Instructions (which I reviewed here). Both films are set almost entirely in one house and deal with a family Christmas dinner that goes horribly awry when supernatural forces of some kind intervene. Unlike Await Further Instructions, though, which had more of a science fiction/body horror angle and played off the fractured relationships between its characters, Hosts utilizes an ambiguous hint of paranormal (perhaps demonic) chicanery to craft a straightforward, violent, survival-style horror with some scenes of stomach-churning tension, that uses the likability of its characters to punch you in the gut over and over.

At the beginning of the film, we meet Jack (Neal Ward), an amiable bloke who we assume works as a train engineer, as he pulls an empty train into a deserted station and disembarks, presumably heading home for the holiday.

While crossing a field on his way home, he runs into his older friend and neighbor Michael (Frank Jakeman), who is out hunting pheasant in a Santa suit. The pair have a pleasant chat, and it comes to light that not only has Michael been out shooting some fowl for Christmas dinner, but that he has invited Jack and his girlfriend Lucy (Samantha Loxley) to eat with him and his family that night. It’s clear Jack and Michael have known each other a long time, and are very close.

Jack arrives home, and there’s a lovely scene with Jack and Lucy reconnecting and just being adorable; it’s implied that Jack has been away for a bit working and Lucy is ecstatic to see him. The couple seem ridiculously in love, and the characterization here is so good; in just one brief scene, we get the measure of these two as people, the nature of their relationship, and also grow to genuinely like them, a feat which many more expensive movies never seem to be able to accomplish.

Jack and Lucy banter back and forth; Jack gives Lucy a sweet and heartfelt gift of a plaque that says how proud he is of her and how she’s going to be a great elementary school teacher, and Lucy gifts Jack an ugly sweater that she insists he wears to the dinner tonight. Good-natured Jack makes a show of not wanting to, but shrugs into it with a grin.

This movie doesn’t fuck around, though, and something goes wrong only moments afterward. Lucy thinks she sees something through the glass doors, something that looks like a couple of flashlights bobbing about in their back garden. Jack goes out into the backyard to check, poking around in the trees and in a janky old shed, but he doesn’t see anything or anyone. The audience, though, sees a definite blur of something moving around far behind him.

He goes back into the house, telling Lucy there’s no one outside, but Lucy is nowhere to be seen. Jack calls out for her, but gets no answer, and then hears a very ominous thumping noise coming from upstairs. The sound is repeated, and he follows it up to the second floor. Just outside their bedroom door, he hears Lucy gagging and choking, and he bursts into the room, only to see her lying on the bed on her back, her mouth wide open and a bright blue light pouring out of it. He panics, shaking her and trying to help her, but she just chokes and shudders, and the light keeps shining.

We then cut to Michael and his family getting ready for Christmas dinner. There’s mom Cassie (Jennifer K. Preston), young son Ben (Buddy Skelton), and two adult children home for the holiday: sister Lauren (Nadia Lamin) and brother Eric (Lee Hunter).

Just as with Jack and Lucy, we get to know and like these people almost immediately; their interactions feel so natural and genuine that you can’t help but be charmed, wishing you could spend Christmas with such a delightful family. They’re clearly loving without being saccharine, and tease one another affectionately in a way that doesn’t feel forced. One of the things that affected me the most about this movie, in fact, was how sympathetic and engaging all the characters were, which made it all the more emotionally shattering when shit starts to go very, very bad. Which it does, in short order.

Jack and Lucy arrive right on time, but it’s immediately obvious that something isn’t right. They barely speak when spoken to, and stare straight ahead without any expression. There are also weird, bright pinpoints of light shining in their eyes at times. So whatever that strange glow was that was pouring out of Lucy’s mouth earlier, has somehow gotten into Jack as well.

Michael and the others notice their guests’ odd reticence, but there’s an implication that something might have happened to Jack at some point in the past that’s making him moody or upset, so they don’t think too much about it and just try to smooth things over. Everyone sits down to dinner, and though Jack and Lucy just sit there and stare, not eating, the rest of the family are conversing freely, laughing and joking, and they don’t pay much attention.

Even when Jack gets up from the table and leaves the room without saying anything, the family takes it in stride, figuring the guy is just having a hard time. While he’s gone, though, something happens that I won’t spoil, but suffice it to say that it was completely brutal, not only in the graphic, visceral violence and the absolutely merciless timing of it but in the entire circumstance of who it happens to and who is there to witness it. This whole film, in fact, is as unsentimental toward its protagonists as the protagonists themselves are eminently lovable. It makes for a very effective horror, though I’ll admit that some scenes are a bit rough to sit through for this very reason. This scene in particular actually made me wince and go OH NOOOOO multiple times, even though I knew something terrible was coming.

After this horrific event, the film turns into a nail-biting survival narrative, with Jack and Lucy psychologically fucking with and variously torturing the family members for some nefarious purpose. It’s made evident that the couple has been possessed by something, but it’s never spelled out exactly what; there are hints of different possibilities dropped here and there, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter; it’s enough to know that these formerly affable folks have been taken over by some evil force that’s controlling their every action. It turns out too that there is a reason that Michael and his family were “targeted” by whatever force this is, but it’s not a super important aspect of the plot, which is mainly concerned with showing you relatively blameless, wonderful people being put through some really awful shit.

Speaking of which, I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight the extraordinary practical effects work of Kate Griffiths, who really went all out to make this experience as gruesome as possible, with plenty of smashed heads, shotgun blasts, pulled teeth, and multiple stabbings to go around. Excellent stuff.

If you’re in the mood for a Christmas horror that goes for the throat, lulling you in with some winsome characters before destroying everything you hold dear right before your eyes, then this should definitely be on your holiday playlist. I regret that it took me almost five damn years to finally see the thing, but better late than never. As of Christmas 2024, it’s streaming on Tubi for free (at least in the United States), so lay in some hot chocolate and Christmas cookies and go to town. Just watch who you invite to Christmas dinner this year; you never know who might be harboring a murderous demonic being behind their glowing eyes.

Until next time, keep it creepy (and Christmasy), my friends.